Four Years From Now

Izel Nava (She/Her)

Editorial Team Member

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The chatter of the past settles into a whisper as the sun soaks past parted shades. My days have become quiet and routine, waiting for the occasional dinner date that disrupts my schedule of gym and work. Graduating was everything I had worked towards over the last couple of years, and now I’m left with the release of that pressure, and I turn to the horizon that is the new chapter of my life.

I have no idea what to do with the silence. I used to pride myself on being independent, on being able to sit with myself and my time. But the hallways that connected my social circle are barred, and I have a newfound responsibility to connect with new people and maintain my old friendships. I miss the noise of my friends, although the first couple of weeks of summer have made way for much-needed reflection. The anticipation of college makes my stomach turn, but I’ve concluded that this feeling brings me more excitement than anxiety.

The bulletin board above my bed is heavier than it was four years ago, tilted at its hinges, falling under the pressure of my graveyard of memories. Facing it is a stuffed longhorn, symbolizing the metamorphosis I’m due and the next four years I have to reinvent myself for the better. It’s not just a fresh start, it’s a continuation of everything I’ve tried and loved about life, but haven’t had the chance to sit with. The next four years are writing, independence, community, and perseverance. Once the dog days of summer have ended, loosening its hot and weathered grip on my Texas city, I hope I settle myself well in its dust.

Hook 'em Horns