Abuse Doesn’t Change Colors

Shresta Nibhanupudi (she/her)

Editorial Team Member

Content Warning: Mentions of Abuse

For my entire life, I have grown up in a prevalently Indian community. And for the most part, I have thoroughly enjoyed this aspect of my life. I’ve taken so much of it for granted which I have recently realized, and I just truly can’t imagine my life without being around my culture. However, there are some faults of this community around me that I can acknowledge. For example, there is an ubiquity of colorism, racism, and homophobia. Many Indians have a tendency to give free advice that is either extremely hurtful or just offensive in general. And all of this just gets swept under the disguise of it being “our culture.” The most horrific offense under the guise of “culture” is the general acceptance of abuse. 

Under American law, abuse is illegal. Under the moral code of society, abuse is wrong. We, as a society, accept this as our truth. And we, as a society, also care. We care about when child abuse occurs in white families: we cry as we watch movies about it, and we watch the news in horror when they recount instances of abuse. But, why don’t we care when this happens within ethnic families? Why can’t we extend the same sympathy? Why is it that we ignore instances of child abuse in ethnic families simply because it’s part of the “culture”?

I have seen so many instances of child abuse being normalized within Indian communities, even the one I cherish so deeply. Because somehow, when it comes to an ethnic family, it is no longer abuse. It is now unavoidable. It now becomes just raising your children within your culture. But this is not the truth. This is just the truth that ethnic communities sell so they no longer have to actually parent but can cowardly inflict trauma onto their children under the guise of “discipline.” 

This normalization is what makes it so incredibly difficult to break this generational curse. Because ethnic people don’t understand that abuse is not normal, so they continue the generational trauma. As an Indian community, we have come so far, and yet we still don’t discuss how abuse runs rampant within our communities. Ethnic children deserve better than what they have been given. But the blame can’t just be placed on ethnic communities, but it can also be placed on society in general. Society stops caring when it comes to ethnic children. And yet, abuse doesn’t change colors, so why do we stop caring? 

*Just to clarify, we are not discussing any counts of sexual abuse, we are only discussing disciplinary physical child abuse.