What Could’ve Been

Shresta Nibhanupudi (she/her)

Editorial Team Member

Bittersweet when it comes to taste is defined as sweet with a bitter aftertaste. But I would like to create a new meaning. I think that bittersweet is feeling outrage but understanding that sometimes the situation is for the best. I think that those mixed feelings that create confusion in the heart are truly what bittersweet is. Bittersweet is such an indescribable feeling of melancholy acknowledgement. Recently, my family and I visited London. During our stay we visited the British Museum which is really the British Colonial Museum. And during our time there, I felt that exact poignant feeling. 

Walking through the extravagant halls of the anything but British Museum, I thought about India. For those who are unfamiliar, India was a wealthy and prosperous country before Britain colonised and took much of the valuable items. They ran through the palaces and historic sites, taking gold, sculptures, and gems leaving India wounded. When I went to the Taj Mahal last year, there were many talks about what could’ve been. Our tour guide talked about how the walls used to be studded with gold and diamonds until the British came and took them. In Jaipur, I saw the remnants of the Amber Fort. The contrast between the elaborate interior of the British Museum and the Taj walls that although lavish, were clearly not as well kept, left me feeling upset. 

Within the museum, I saw the “gifts” from India to Britain. I saw the endless sculptures and jewelry. The clear indications of my ancestor’s artistry and wit. At first, I truly did only feel outrage at the stolen artifacts. I thought they should give them back immediately. India was the rightful place for these items. All of those sculptures had extreme cultural and religious significance, some even taken from temples. There was one room in which there were pieces of walls that were excavated from the ruins of a temple. The more I saw, the more my outrage turned into grief of what truly could’ve been. But then I learned of another side. 

After India fought for its independence, it has been through decades of conflict. It went through the partition with Pakistan in which many things were destroyed. Islamic artifacts in India and Hindu artifacts in Pakistan were some of the first to go. On top of this, India is not large on preservation. There are centuries of history lost from lack of preservation and continuous conflict. Even within families, not many have jewelry that is passed down from generations. 

So, while I believe that all of the Indian artifacts that Britain stole should be brought back to India, I also understand that for the sake of the artifacts the British protection was needed. If these sculptures stayed in India, they might have become ruins. I am still exasperated about the placement of these objects but at least these pieces of great art stayed intact. At least these artists’ livelihoods didn’t go to waste. Earlier I said bittersweet is an indescribable feeling. However, now I think I know how to describe it. It is an unknowing grief of what could’ve been while being thankful for what exists.