Application Turmoil

Shresta Nibhanupudi (she/her)

Editorial Team Member

Many of you reading this already know, as I have continuously mentioned, I am a rising senior. And so, what my current summer into senior year consists of is hanging out with my friends, various internship work, and my current favorite: college essay writing, or lack thereof. You can find me almost every summer day in my room, watching the cursor blink as I, for the life of me, cannot figure out what to write about. Even now, I am writing this instead of working on my essays, as I truly am not able to write something quality. But it’s not as though I don’t know how to write and don’t enjoy it. I’ve been writing blogs for almost two years now, and almost every time, I don’t struggle to figure out what to write. I just write what I am passionate about at the time. So, I have analyzed the reasoning behind my writer's block specific to my college essays. And, from my research, I have come to a conclusion.

My conclusion is slightly more complicated than just one sentence, but luckily enough, I have the space to explain it. For blogs, applications to internships, and essays for board positions, I have always had a theme. Especially for any application, I show the reader what aspect of me I believe they would want to see. For some essays, I am fun and cool. For others, I am organized and meticulous. For others, I am an academic and persistent. And so, for those pieces of work, I didn’t have trouble figuring out what to write about because I know what to say to display those characteristics. Where my personal essay differs from these others is that I am not just showing the college admission officers one aspect about myself: I somehow have to show them me, not something about me, just me. I somehow have to sum up my entire being into 650 words, which also define my future. I simply don’t know how to do that. I don’t know how to show who I am and what I stand for cohesively at all. I can write this entire blog in the span of five minutes. Yet, put me in front of my personal essay for weeks on end, and I have nothing to show for it. All this to say, I do believe that I will be able to produce an exceptional essay at the end of summer, and it will be indicative of me. And it is that singular faith that is pushing me through this turmoil.